Where I am now (new section)
I thought this little section might help those of you who are raw with grief and can’t even begin to visualise how you will go forwards or ever be happy again.
It is nearly four years ago that I lost my beloved Mo. At the time, I honestly never thought I would feel happiness again.
It takes time……
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point. For some it will take less, some it will take more and sadly there may be others that will find themselves simply unable to get to this point. If you feel that you are the latter then I would urge you to seek counselling or visit a doctor in order to try and get more help…
Time can only move forwards and us with it, but we can take our grief and love and go forwards with it to another point in time where we can be happy.
Happiness born from grief
In my effort to fill days of emptiness and what seemed like ever ending sadness I began to seek new ways to fill my time. I took up gardening, sowed seeds and watched them grow into beautiful flowers. I found a new love of making scrapbooks and cards which kept my mind fully occupied as it takes a great deal of concentration to paint and cut out intricate shapes. I began to go out cycling with my husband. Initially I could only manage to just about get up the lane but in what seemed a relatively short space of time, i was cycling 13 miles. I let myself lap up the beautiful countryside and all that is in it. Never under estimate the healing power of nature, it really is wonderful….
The grief of losing Mo led me to join social media groups whose sole purpose was to support grieving horse and animal owners. It was here that I made two incredible friends who I can honestly say were paramount to helping me get where I am today.
Firstly, my dear friend Maria, who had at the time tragically just lost her amazing and beautiful mare Freddie. Maria has been so supportive from the first time we messaged each other. It is a friendship that could have only been formed through us both losing our beautiful ponies……a supportive friendship, now also filled with fun and laughter. A friendship found and formed through grief….More recently, Maria has also lost her sweet, dear Bree’o. I hope I am able to help her through her renewed grief as much as she has helped me.
Secondly, my dear friend Lizzie who had lost her beloved gelding, Prince. We shared many feelings together and supported each other during those real times of sadness. Even though we don’t speak that often, I know she is there and understands.
So what I guess I’m really saying is that there are some wonderful things that can be born from losing your beloved pony and from the grief that follows. These are things to treasure and take joy in, new found hobbies, new or renewed relationships.
It takes time, but there is light at the end of the tunnel